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Little Plastic Castle

by Ani DiFranco

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1.
in a coffee shop in a city which is every coffee shop in every city on a day which is every day i picked up a magazine which is every magazine read a story, and then forgot it right away they say goldfish have no memory i guess their lives are much like mine and the little plastic castle is a surprise every time and it’s hard to say if they’re happy but they don’t seem much to mind from the shape of your shaved head i recognized your silhouette as you walked out of the sun and sat down and the sight of your sleepy smile eclipsed all the other people as they paused to sneer at the two girls from out of town i said, look at you this morning you are, by far, the cutest but be careful getting coffee i think these people wanna shoot us or maybe there’s some kinda local competition here to see who can be the rudest people talk about my image like i come in two dimensions like lipstick is a sign of my declining mind like what i happen to be wearing the day that someone takes a picture is my new statement for all of womankind i wish they could see us now in leather bras and rubber shorts like some ridiculous new team uniform for some ridiculous new sport quick someone call the girl police and file a report in a coffee shop in a city which is every coffee shop in every city on a day which is every day
2.
Fuel 04:00
they were digging a new foundation in manhattan and they discovered a slave cemetery there may their souls rest easy now that lynching is frowned upon and we’ve moved on to the electric chair and i wonder who’s gonna be president tweedle dumb or tweedle dumber? and who’s gonna have the big blockbuster box office this summer how ‘bout we put up a wall between the houses and the highway and then you can go your way and i can go my way except all the radios agree with all the t.v.’s and the magazines agree with all the radios and i keep hearing that same damn song everywhere i go maybe i should put a bucket over my head and a marshmallow in each ear and stumble around for another dumb numb week for another hum drum hit song to appear people used to make records as in a record of an event the event of people playing music in a room now everything is cross-marketing it’s about sunglasses and shoes or guns or drugs you choose we got it rehashed we got it half-assed we’re digging up all the graves and we’re spitting on the past and we can choose between the colors of the lipstick on the whores ‘cuz we know the difference between the font of twenty percent more and the font of teriyaki you tell me how does it make you feel? you tell me what’s real they say that alcoholics are always alcoholics even when they’re as dry as my lips for years even when they’re stranded on a small desert island with no place in two thousand miles to buy beer and i wonder is he different is he different has he changed what he’s about or is he just a liar with nothing to lie about am i headed for the same brick wall is there anything i can do about anything at all except go back to that corner in manhattan and dig deeper dig deeper this time down beneath the impossible pain of our history beneath unknown bones beneath the bedrock of the mystery beneath the sewage system and the path train beneath the cobblestones and the water main beneath the traffic of friendships and street deals beneath the screeching of kamikaze cab wheels beneath everything i can think of to think about beneath it all beneath all get out beneath the good and the kind and the stupid and the cruel there’s a fire that’s just waiting for fuel
3.
Gravel 03:32
i heard the sound of your bike as your wheels hit the gravel then your engine in the driveway, cutting off i pushed through the screen door and i stood out on the porch thinking fight fight fight at all costs but instead i let you in just like i’ve always done i sat you down and offered you a beer and across the kitchen table i fired several rounds but you were still sitting there when the smoke cleared you came crawling back to say that you want to make good in the end oh, let me count the ways that i abhor you you were never a good lay and you were never a good friend but oh, what can i say, i adore you all i need is my leather one t-shirt and two socks i’ll keep my hands warm in your pockets and you can use the engine block we’ll ride out to california with my arms around your chest and i’ll pretend that this is real ‘cuz this is what i like best you’ve been juggling two women like a stupid circus clown telling us both we are the one and maybe you can keep me from ever being happy but you’re not going to stop me from having fun so let’s go, before i change my mind i’ll leave the luggage of all your lies behind ‘cuz i am bigger than everything that came before you were never very kind and you let me way down every time but oh, what can i say, i adore you i heard the sound of your bike as your wheels hit the gravel then your engine in the driveway, cutting off
4.
As Is 04:06
you can’t hide behind social graces so don’t try to be all touchy feely ‘cuz you lie in my face of all places but i got no problem with that really what bugs me is that you believe what you’re saying what bothers me is that you don’t know how you feel what scares me is that while you’re telling me stories you actually believe that they are real i got no illusions about you guess what i never did when i said when i said i’ll take it i meant i meant as is just give up and admit you’re an asshole you would be in some good company and i think you’d find that your friends would forgive you or maybe i am just speaking for me when i look around i think this, this is good enough and i try to laugh at whatever life brings ‘cuz when i look down i just miss all the good stuff and when i look up i just trip over things i’ve got no illusions about you guess what i never did when i say when i say i’ll take it i mean i mean as is
5.
you were fresh off the boat from virginia i had a year of new york city under my belt we met in a dream we were both nineteen i remember where we were standing i remember how it felt two little girls growing out of their training bras this little girl breaks furniture this little girl breaks laws two girls together just a little less alone this little girl cried wee wee wee all the way home you were always half crazy now look at you baby you make about as much sense as a nursery rhyme love is a piano dropped from a four story window and you were in the wrong place at the wrong time and i don’t like your girlfriend i blame her i never seen one of your lovers do you so much harm i loved you first and you know i would prefer if she didn’t empty her syringes into your arm here comes little naked me padding up to the bathroom door to find little naked you slumped on the bathroom floor so i guess i’ll just stand here with my back against the wall while you distill your whole life down to a 911 call now you bring me your bruises so i can ‘ooh and ahh’ at the display maybe i’m supposed to make one of my famous jokes that makes everything o.k. or maybe i’m supposed to be the handsome prince who rides up and unties your hands or maybe i’m supposed to be the furrowed-brow friend who thinks she understands here comes little naked me padding up to the bathroom door to find little naked you slumped on the bathroom floor so i guess i’ll just stand here with my back against the wall while you distill your whole life down to a 911 call
6.
Deep Dish 03:37
cold and drizzly night in chicago’s deep dish fluorescent light of the bathroom shows my hands as they are see an eyelash on my cheek pick it off and make a wish and walk back out into the bar wind at the windows neon lights the patterned pane the waitress wields the weight of her tray around her palm the doorman cups his hands and lights his cigarette again and the rain marches on this is only a possibility in a world of possibilities there are obviously there are many possibilities ranging from small to large before long there will be short before short there was nothing when there was nothing there was always the possibility of something becoming what it is don’t even bother trying to say something clever clever is as clever does no matter what it says i’m looking for a sign says you’re for real this time but i don’t trust what’s in your head i walk up to the bar and point to the top shelf and then i throw my head back and laugh at myself i raise a toast to all our saviors each so badly behaved it’s too bad that their world is the one that they saved there’s a spider spinning cobwebs from your elbow to the table while my eyes ride the crowd in a secret rodeo i smile with my mouth lift my watch up to the light say oh, look, i have to go now you got to dance with me, now is when it’s gotta be ‘cuz i can’t wait for the dance floor to fill in if you want to dance with me, i’ll show you how it’s gonna be ‘cuz i can’t wait for the band to begin
7.
Loom 02:50
you always got those dark sunglasses covering half your face but if you promise to take them off i promise i won’t squander your gaze i will be picturesque i will be nice i won’t do anything you can’t tell your wife i will think before i act i will think twice just let me see your eyes each time we’ve spoken we’ve put in our token and ridden the tilt-a-whirl i was giggling and dizzy flirting like a twelve year old girl the carnival of you and me is coming to town watch how we spin and spin and then fall down now we just say hello and head for firmer ground you are the one-way glass that watches me standing in line at the bank i always looked into your glasses like a cat looks into a fish tank but all i could ever see was the specter of me reflected i want a monument of the friendship that we never had, erected i want it to take up lots of room i want it to loom you always got those dark sunglasses between us when we talk but after the party is over if you wanna take a walk we could just look around not do nothing wrong just try to be at least as brave as our songs i will bring my heart i will bring my face you name the time and place
8.
Pixie 04:25
i’m a pixie i’m a paper doll i’m a cartoon i’m a chipper cheerful free for all and i light up a room i’m the color me happy girl miss live and let live and when they’re out for blood i always give the man behind the counter looks like he’s got a half a dozen places he’d rather be and furthermore it looks like he’s prepared to take it all out on me buddy, i don’t really care what your problem is just don’t make it mine come on kids, let’s all hold hands and pretend we’re having a good time maybe you don’t like your job maybe you didn’t get enough sleep well, nobody likes their job nobody got enough sleep maybe you just had the worst day of your life but, you know, there’s no escape and there’s no excuse so just suck up and be nice all the privileged white kids on t.v. playing at death brandishing their cold cuts with their ghostly makeup and their heroin breath and all the little fishes are flapping wildly on their hooks while all the top critics find great meaning in the telephone book the little emperor he has no clothes so he can’t come out to play and besides which life is suffering and he likes it that way and the little guy is not so friendly but you know life has been cruel so wipe that smile off your face baby and try to be cool maybe you don’t like your job maybe you didn’t get enough sleep well, nobody likes their job nobody got enough sleep maybe you just had the worst day of your life but, you know, there’s no escape and there’s no excuse so just suck up and be nice yeah, i would like to perfect the art of being studiously aloof like life is just a boring chore and i am living proof i could join forces with an army of ornery hipsters but then i guess i’d be out of a job so i guess that’s out of the picture ‘cuz i’m a pixie i’m a paper doll i’m a cartoon i’m a chipper cheerful free for all and i light up a room i’m the color me happy girl miss live and let live and when they’re out for blood i always give
9.
Swan Dive 06:29
i’m cradling the softest, warmest part of you in my hands feels like a little baby bird fallen from the nest i think that your body is something i understand i think that i’m happy i think that i’m blessed but i’ve had a lack of inhibition i’ve had a loss of perspective i’ve had a little bit to drink and it’s making me think that i can jump ship and swim that the ocean will hold me that there’s got to be more than this boat i’m in they can call me crazy if i fail all the chance that i need is one-in-a-million and they can call me brilliant if i succeed gravity is nothing to me i’m moving at the speed of sound i’m just gonna get my feet wet until i drown i teeter between tired and really, really tired i’m wiped and i’m wired but i guess that’s just as well ‘cuz i’ve built my own empire out of car tires and chicken wire and now i’m queen of my own compost heap and i’m getting used to the smell i’ve had a lack of information i’ve had a little revelation i’m climbing up on the railing trying not to look down i’m going to do my best swan dive into shark infested waters i’m gonna pull out my tampon and start splashing around ‘cuz i don’t care if they eat me alive i’ve got better things to do than survive i’ve got the memory of your warm skin in my hands and i’ve got a vision of blue sky and dry land i’m cradling the hardest, heaviest part of me in my hands the ship is pitching and heaving our limbs are bobbing and weaving i think this is something i understand i just need a couple vaccinations for my far-away vacation i’m gonna go ahead and go boldly ‘cuz a little bird told me that jumping is easy that falling is fun right up until you hit the sidewalk shivering and stunned they can call me crazy if i fail all the chance that i need is one-in-a-million and they can call me brilliant if i succeed gravity is nothing to me i’m moving at the speed of sound i’m just gonna get my feet wet until i drown
10.
Glass House 05:19
sitting in my glass house while your ghost is sleeping down the hall watching the little birds fly kamikaze missions into the walls think i’m gonna stay in today sit on the couch and watch them fall life just keeps getting harder and it just keeps getting harder to hide the darker it is around me the easier it is to see inside outside the glass the whole world is magnified and it’s half an inch from here to the other side i guess that push has come to this so i guess this must be shove but before you throw those stones at me tell me, what is your house made of? and if you think you know what i’m doing wrong you’re gonna have to get in line but for the purposes of this song let’s just say i am doing fine i guess i’m doing fine trapped in my glass house a crowd has been gathering outside since dawn i make a pot of coffee while catastrophe awaits me out on the lawn think i’m going to stay in today and pretend like i don’t know what’s going on yeah, i guess that push has come to this so i guess this must be shove but before you throw those stones at me tell me, what is your house made of? and if you think you know what i’m doing wrong you’re gonna have to get in line but for the purposes of this song let’s just say i am doing fine i think i’m doing fine
11.
we drove the car to the top of the parking ramp 4th of july sat out on the hood with a couple of warm beers and watched the fireworks explode in the sky there was an exodus of birds from the trees ‘cuz they didn’t know we were only pretending and the people all looked up and looked pleased and the birds flew around like the whole world was ending i don’t think war is noble and i don’t like to think love is like war but i got a big hot cherry bomb and i wanna slip it through the mail slot of your front door you can’t leave me here i got your back now you’d better have mine ‘cuz you say the coast is clear but you say that all the time so many sheep i quit counting sleepless and embarrassed about the way that i feel trying to make mole hills out of mountains building base camp at the bottom of a really big deal did i ever tell you how i stopped eating when you stopped calling me i was cramped up and shitting rivers for weeks and pretending that i was finally free you can’t leave me here now that you’re back you’d better stay this time ‘cuz you say the coast is clear but you say that all the time we drove the car to the top of the parking ramp 4th of july i planted my dusty boots on the bumper sat out on the hood and looked up at the sky
12.
Pulse 14:16
you crawled into my bed that night like some sort of giant insect and i found myself spellbound at the sight of you there beautiful and grotesque and all the rest of that bug stuff bluffing your way into my mouth behind my teeth reaching for my scars that night we got kicked out of two bars and laughed our way home that night you leaned over and threw up into your hair and i held you there thinking i would offer you my pulse if i thought it would be useful i would give you my breath except the problem with death is we have some hundred years and then they can build buildings on our only bones a hundred years and then your grave is not your own we lie in our beds and our graves unable to save ourselves from the quaint tragedies we invent and undo from the stupid circumstances we slalom through and i realized that night that the hall light which seemed so bright when you turned it on is nothing compared to the dawn which is nothing compared to the light which seeps from me while you’re sleeping cocooned in my room beautiful and grotesque, resting that night we got kicked out of two bars and laughed our way home i thought: i would offer you my pulse i would give you my breath i would offer you my pulse...

about

Dubbed one of the 25 "most anticipated albums of 1998" by Alternative Press, Ani's tenth solo album Little Plastic Castle hit the streets just as Living In Clip made its way onto many critic's best-of-1997 lists.

Ani returned to one of her favorite places to record—the live-in studio called the Congress House in Austin, Texas. In this relaxed setting she commented, "This album seemed to happen more organically than earlier studio releases." Ani is joined by drummer Andy Stochansky and bassist Jason Mercer who played with her on her 1997 tours, as well as bassist Sara Lee who toured with Ani in 1996. LPC also prominently features outside musicians, drummer Jerry Marotta (Peter Gabriel, Indigo Girls), and the horn section composed of three Austin session musicians who add flavor to "Little Plastic Castle" and "Deep Dish." In addition to these guests is the distinguished trumpeter Jon Hassell from Los Angeles, an avant-garde composer who has worked with such diverse figures as Brian Eno, LaMonte Young, Talking Heads and k.d. lang. Jon provides the sustained subtle solo on the 14-minute final track "Pulse." The Grammy Awards committee selected "Glass House" for Ani's third nomination in the Best Rock Performance – Female category. Filled with all of the humor and irony that it takes to get through the day, Ani remains timely and timeless.

"A serious expansion of [DiFranco's] musical palette, as though she's thrown open the windows to let the light in and discovered whole new worlds waiting there, new surroundings for her blunt, challenging poetry." - PHILADELPHIA INQUIRER

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released February 1, 1998

1998, 1998 Righteous Babe Records distributed by United For Opportunity

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Ani DiFranco New Orleans, Louisiana

Grammy winner and feminist icon Ani DiFranco began her career as a proponent of the artist-run label, creating her own Righteous Babe Records in 1990. Since then she has released over twenty studio albums and supported a broad range of social causes including racial justice, reproductive rights, gender equality, environmental issues and prison reform. ... more

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